|
Surgery Day! I'm told to remove all of my jewelry. Even my wedding and toe ring? It just doesn't seem right. Rand removes the necklace he bought me for my 50th birthday...Chinese for Double Happiness. I cry, I don't want it removed. I'm afraid. I try to make light of things and joke with the nurse. When I'm seperating from Rand it hits me...what will they find? Will I wake up during surgery like those stories I've read? Will I die? I don't want to go, I don't want to leave Rand...but I have to...He kisses me and says "I love you very much, don't be afraid, I'll be waiting". I lay in pre-op, they start an IV, anesthesia talks to me, Dr. Tatum comes in to speak with me and then I'm sedated. The next thing I recall is being in recovery in a lot of pain. I can't move, I'm afraid, confused, disoriented, crying...a nurse tells me to hold it down because there are other patients in the area. I remember apologizing and telling her that I'll try. My family has to wait until late in the afternoon because of a bed crunch. The next thing I remember is Rand holding my hand and with tears in his eyes he says to me, "we've got a battle ahead of us." I knew it was bad at that point. I think I just cried until I almost drowned.
|
|
|
An after dark hike at Big Ridge State Park. I remember how afraid I was of the dark. But my fear eased by Rand talking me through it, encouraging me to take another step toward the darkness. We never know what lies at the end of the dark path, but with love and encouragement somehow, we make the journey. Thank you my husband for easing my fear and being beside me as I face my own dark path.
|
