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November 3, 2007 (Day 70)
I woke up tearful this morning. Anticipating the weeks ahead and the shave the head thing. I told Rand that I fear looking sick. I told him how full of life my Chemo friends are and how beautiful they are, but have that sick look about them. I dread that. However, I'm beginning to see it in myself when I look in the mirror. I've learned so much since my diagnosis and feel change within me. Rand has taught me so much. He's taught me about inward beauty and journey. Historically, I had always been one who would never leave the house without my hair, nails, outfit (heels even with jeans) makeup and waist line in check. Since I've been with Rand I've mellowed and am much more content with who I am. It's been a journey, but a good one. I'm more grounded and have a peacefulness I never had before. Thank you my husband for your gentle teaching and holding the mirror in front of the real me.
Surprisingly, physically I feel ok today. Just a little under the weather, but on my feet, haven't layed down all day. My appetite is good. I got two new meds from the doctor at chemo the other day. Decadron and Toradol. He said the decadron should help the discomfort. I suppose it has, since I'm doing so well today. Just took a Toradol for a headache.
I prepared the fire pit for tonight when Rand gets home from work so we can sit outside and talk. I filled the bird feeders and gathered wood. I cooked dinner and our house is clean and organized. I got online and ordered two wigs and emailed a couple of friends. I spoke with my daughter Lyndsay and sent my daughter Tiffany an E-card as she had sent me one wishing me well today.
My dear Mother called and we talked until the phone went dead. We're bad about that. We usually say our goodbye's early in the conversation because we know that eventually one of us will be talking and the other will be gone. It's routine.
It's always so wonderful to talk to my mommie. I love you Mom!
I'M THANKFUL FOR THIS DAY!
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