Enlightened by Cancer

A New View of Thanksgiving

November 22, 2007 (DAY 89)

This is one of my favorite times of year, Thanksgiving. An opportunity to bring family close. The smell of turkey and sweet potatos in the oven. Hot coffee with just enough cream and sugar, smiling faces and arms outstretched as precious family walks through the door. How blessed, how alive! I try to put my fear away for today. I try not to think that next year I may not be here. How I long to be here, how I belong to this moment, this life, this family. I think of my family living away, I see them gathered as we are today, laughing, crying, joking and touching. I imagine myself with them too. It feels comforting and warm, both in my thoughts and in my experiences shared with the family around me.

Gather each moment, each precious experience and fill your basket full, brimming over with hope, memories, love and anticipation.

Autumn Leaves in sunshine

Facing cancer forces you to experience life in a different manner. You are more awake. You become capable of enjoying the moment at a level that most never even think off. You find yourself more forgiving. More caring. More loving. How long will I be allowed to spend times like these with my family. Does anyone really know that answer? No, but it seems that the vast majority of people are living life as if they are waiting on something to come along and wake them up. Cancer has a way of doing that. It has a way of shaking you and screaming at you. It’s negative potential is harsh and results in the closing chapter in the book of your life. It’s positives are in how when faced with your own mortality that you start seeing and understanding life. The very thing that it threatens. I had a new view of life this Thanksgiving. At times, its as if I’m watching myself interact with my loved ones. Detached almost, but totally aware. I give in to the flow of the experience. To the interactions with my family. To the love that flows through the house in a subtle current. Stopping for a moment around a loved one. Rushing like a whitewater stream to another. Finally, after the feast and all the talk, pooling around us all in its warmth, promise and unconditional nature. I love this family. I am blessed.

Copyright © 2008 - Catherine Cardwell - Enlightened By Cancer